Setting Realistic Goals Without Overwhelming Your Mentee

One of the most helpful things you can do as a mentor is guide your mentee in setting goals that move them forward—without making them feel like they’re drowning.

Big dreams are exciting, but without a clear path and support along the way, they can feel intimidating. That’s where you come in. You’re not just a cheerleader—you’re a steady hand, helping your mentee turn vague ideas into meaningful, doable steps.

Start Where They Are—Not Where You Think They Should Be

It’s easy to assume people want to move fast and aim high—but early-career professionals often feel unsure about where to even begin. What seems small to you might feel like a huge leap for them.

Start by asking simple, open-ended questions:

• “What’s something you’d like to get better at this month?”

• “What’s one thing at work that’s been challenging or confusing?”

• “What’s something you’ve been curious about but haven’t tried yet?”

Their answers can point to great starting places. Maybe they want to lead a meeting for the first time, get more confident asking for feedback, or simply manage their time better. Whatever it is—start there.

Real Talk: One mentee told me her biggest goal was “not to feel like I’m messing up every day.” That was her real starting point—not a promotion or a new project. And that was okay. We worked from there.

Break Big Goals into Bite-Sized Wins

Once your mentee shares a goal, help them break it into smaller, achievable steps. Think of it like climbing stairs—not leaping up an entire staircase in one jump.

For example, if their goal is to “get better at giving presentations,” break it down:

1. Attend a few presentations and take notes on what works

2. Practice speaking up in a team meeting

3. Share a short update on a project

4. Record themselves practicing a 2-minute talk

5. Present a slide in the next team meeting

Each step builds their skill—and their confidence—along the way.

 Tip: Write the steps down together. When a mentee can see progress clearly laid out, it makes the goal feel doable instead of daunting.

 Focus on What They Can Control

New professionals often feel pressure to meet goals that are out of their hands—like getting praise from a tough manager or being chosen for a high-profile project. While those things might happen, it’s better to focus on what they can control.

Help them shape goals like:

• “Ask two thoughtful questions in each team meeting”

• “Send project updates on time for the next 3 weeks”

• “Request feedback from a teammate after each task”

These kinds of goals keep the focus on actions—not approval. And over time, those consistent actions lead to bigger results.

 Check In Without Checking Out

A great goal isn’t something you set once and then forget. Revisit it often during your mentoring sessions. Ask questions like:

• “How’s that goal going?”

• “What felt easy? What felt harder than expected?”

• “Is anything getting in your way?”

If something’s not working, adjust it. Goals aren’t set in stone—they’re meant to flex and grow as your mentee does.

Mentor Tip: Keep a simple shared document or journal where you jot down goals, small wins, and next steps. It creates a record of growth they can look back on when they need a boost.

Celebrate the Steps, Not Just the Finish Line

New professionals often underestimate their progress—especially when they compare themselves to others. Help them see and celebrate each step they take.

Did they speak up in a meeting when they usually stay quiet? Celebrate that. Did they rewrite a tough email instead of hitting send too soon? Celebrate that too.

When you point out the effort—not just the end result—you reinforce that growth is a journey, not a one-time event.

Example: One mentee was nervous about talking to a senior leader. She practiced with me, then finally introduced herself after a meeting. That tiny moment led to an invitation to work on a cross-functional project. It all started with one brave step.

Final Thought

Helping someone set realistic goals isn’t about lowering the bar—it’s about building a bridge between where they are and where they want to go.

When you help a new professional define success in manageable steps, you give them more than a goal—you give them momentum. And momentum is what builds confidence, resilience, and long-term growth.

With your support, they’ll stop doubting themselves and start believing: “I can do this.”

In our next post, we’ll talk about the value of self-reflection in mentoring. Journaling, thoughtful conversation, and honest check-ins can deepen growth and help mentees build insight. I’ll show you how to make reflection a natural part of your mentoring process.